Bovine Bloodbath HIGH STEAKS: book two (Bovine bloodbath series 2) Read online

  Copyright 2017

  Grand Ozarks Media

  All rights Reserved

  BOVINE BLOODBATH

  HIGH STEAKS

  By

  Chris Lowry

  BOVINE BLOODBATH: HIGH STEAKS

  CHAPTER ONE

  Carver and Dawes stared at the approaching herd spilling from the crashed saucer.

  The pasture was full of them, cows walking on two legs, congregating toward their own crash sight.

  They dragged each other, stumbling and tumbling across the wreckage of the stolen rocket ship they had used to accidentally disable the alien warship.

  “It don’t look good for us, man,” Carver stated.

  It didn’t. The cows carried weapons, hooves on the trigger, and drew a tighter circle around the dumbfounded duo.

  “This is it, man,” said Caver. “We dead.”

  “Bull,” Dawes answered.

  “No man, I think it’s really gonna happen this time.”

  “No, Bull,” Dawes pointed.

  Carver turned around and saw the Admira-bull in all of his nine foot massive persona stalk across the field toward them.

  “It’s like we’re wearing red or something,” Carver said.

  The distinct thud of a helicopter rotor cut across the pasture, stopping the bovine herd in their tracks. Large brown eyes glanced up at the heavens as an Apache whirred over the horizon and swooped toward the two men.

  Two figures dangled from lines on the choppers, a modified version of a skyhook. Silver eyed devils in hard shell body armor slammed into Carver and Dawes, sheathed limbs wrapping around them and lifting them off the ground in a pendulum swing.

  A shriek of fear carried across the herd, answered by a chorus of disappointed and pissed off moo’s as the two men were hoisted into the air and carried away.

  Duke and Nuke pivoted on the ends of the ropes, clinging to Carver and Dawes as the chopper pulled up and raced for distance.

  “We thought you was dead," Carver stopped shrieking and shouted instead.

  "Escape pod," Duke squeezed his legs together tighter until Carver squealed in discomfort. "Just like you."

  Nuke and Dawes swung on the end of the rope like a pendulum.

  They arced past the other two men.

  "You owe us a ship," Nuke shouted.

  "Ya'll ain't got another one?" Carver shouted.

  Their voices were lost in the wind as the chopper gained speed and beat a hasty retreat towards a secret base in Texas.

  CHAPTER TWO

  "Hey General, how you doin?"

  Houston stalked into the smooth walled conference room in the super secret space mission base buried in Texas hill country.

  "Sit down and shut up," Houston barked.

  "You going to let him talk to us like that?" Dawes nudged Carver.

  "I can't control the way the man talks, man. It's a free country and all. Isn't it?"

  Carver looked at the General, waiting for him to answer the question.

  Houston ignored them. Or did his best to overlook them, like acknowledging the presence of relatives at a family gathering, the ones who show up every couple of years but no one knows.

  An aloof acceptance.

  He eyeballed Duke and Nuke.

  "Are they there?"

  "We're right here man, in front of you."

  "It doesn't look good sir," said Nuke. "We used NORAD to track incoming. They hit six continents with multiple bogies. We're still gathering intel, but if it's like what we saw..."

  "Damn."

  "Damn is right man. Those cows, they're crazy.

  "Mad cows," Dawes giggled.

  "This ain't funny. The Herd, that's what they called themselves. They are pissed."

  "What do they want?"

  "How do I know what they want?"

  "You talked to their leader, right?"

  "Yeah we talked to him."

  "Their interpreter, technically," Dawes corrected.

  "The man knows who we talked to, don't you General. He knows we ain't talking to the head cow in chief."

  "Bull."

  "No, I'm not kidding, General, we did talk to him, through his lady friend."

  "Head bull in chief."

  "That's what I said."

  "You said cow."

  "Yeah, but you know what I meant."

  Houston shot a glance to Duke and Nuke. Duke grabbed them by the arm and started dragging them out of the room.

  "Give us a few minutes."

  "We going to eat? Get paid now?"

  Houston sputtered.

  "You blew up my ship."

  "Which one?"

  Dawes elbowed him in the gut.

  "Be cool."

  "Don't tell me to be cool man, I am cool. Look it up in the dictionary and all you see is a picture of me. I'm artic. I'm an ice cube. I'm-"

  "An avalanche of bull," offered Dawes.

  "Avalanche? That'd make a great rap name."

  Duke dragged them through the sliding door and out into the corridor.

  "Do you two ever shut up?"

  "Man, you got to show us more respect. We fought aliens twice and you still think we're a couple of chumps."

  "I do think that?"

  "You do? Oh man, that ain't nice."

  "I told you he wasn't nice."

  "Yeah, but I thought you were being judgmental and all. You do that, you know."

  "I do, don't I?"

  "If the General doesn't have you shot and court martialed, I will."

  "In that order."

  Duke pawed for his gun, but just as he pulled it clear, the door behind him whisked open and Nuke stepped between him and the dumb duo.

  "Am I interrupting?"

  Duke half raised his blaster, lowered it, and lifted it again as an internal debate waged war in his system.

  There would be consequences for shooting them, but he could live with that. At least they wouldn't.

  "Can't do it," Nuke said as Duke decided and raised his gun.

  "The hell I can't."

  "Nope," Nuke shook his head. "General's orders. The Admira-bull will only talk to them. He thinks they're representatives of earth."

  "Them?" Duke was aghast.

  That didn't stop him from aiming the pistol, but it did keep his finger off the trigger.

  For the moment.

  Nuke's silver eyes turned and regarded the two men.

  "Seems they were the first ones in space to greet the Cow-ncil, so they self elected by mistake. It sucks amigo, but we can't kill them."

  "You can't kill us," Carver added.

  "Yet."

  "Yet?"

  "Sure, if we get new representatives. The cows don't seem to understand that there was a mistake. Once we get it cleared up and the duly appointed government officials in the mix, you can do it."

  The barrel of the blaster wavered.

  "How long?"

  "A week? Ten days tops," said Nuke. "Sorry. Red tape. Not my circus."

  Duke considered it for a few moments.

  Or at least they thought he did.

  It was hard to tell what he was thinking behind the aviator shades, and the permanent frown.

  The corded muscles in his forearms bulged as he almost broke the grip of the blaster, the he shoved it back in the holster.

  "This isn't over," he warned them.

  "It looks over to me," Carver snapped. "You put your gun up, right? That's over."

  Duke lunged for him, but Nuke dragged him one way and Dawes pulled Carver the other.

  "Where you going?" Carver calle
d out. "Hey man, where we going?"

  "I don't know dude. Anywhere but here."

  CHAPTER

  Dawes half led, half dragged Carver down the corridor, past a row of windows that looked out over the training compound. It was all indoors and underground, with a retractable roof and two launchpads.

  “Man, how much you think something like this cost.”

  “Billions.”

  “Pesos? Damn man, no wonder this country is so screwed up.

  CHAPTER

  "Look man, I ain't playing with you."

  "And I'm not playing with you," Duke grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and tossed Carver against the wall.

  "Hey man! General! Hey General, you gonna let him get away with that?"

  "Discipline is important for morale," Houston flicked through a digital tablet he picked up off the table.

  "Oh, so that's how it's going to be?" Carver danced off the wall.

  He set his feet, set his hands in a classic boxer’s stance and bounced from front to back foot.

  "It's on then. Come on. Come on."

  Duke grinned like a madman and advanced on the balls of his feet toward Carver.

  His booted foot lashed out and clipped him across the chin, sent him reeling into the table. He bounced off and plopped to the bare floor.

  "Did you kill him?" Nuke raised his eyebrows.

  "No, but at least that will shut him up."

  He turned around and glared at Dawes who stood behind him.

  "You got something to say about it?" he challenged the lanky cowboy.

  Dawes punted his toe between the super soldier's groin in a solid loud smack.

  Duke collapsed on the floor next to Carver, curled up in the fetal position and fought to breath.

  Carver came around and noticed the man squirming next to him.

  "Did I do that?"

  Dawes bent down and helped him up.

  "Craziest thing I've ever seen," he told him.

  Carver ran a hand over his chin.

  "Yeah man, I don't even know how I get sometimes. Crazy. See!" he screamed at the still mewling man on the floor. "You see what happens to you."

  Nuke leaned over to check on Duke and nodded to the General.

  "He'll live. No kids though, I bet."

  "I got him in the nuts?" Carver said in wonder. "Man, I didn't even know I did that. Sorry man. It hurts don't it. You see."

  Dawes clapped him on the back and turned him to face the General.

  "We get to see Rachel now?"

  Houston harrumphed. His mustache bristled, and he squinted at them through a glare.

  CHAPTER

  “Is she in there?” Carver inquired as they followed the General down yet another corridor hewn into the granite underneath Texas.

  And again, he didn’t answer them.

  “There?” Carver asked as they passed another door, making a game of the man in charge’s silence.

  “There?” he pointed.

  The door whisked open to a cavernous office. Two modern looking desks sat at the other end, with two people sitting with their backs to the wall, waiting.

  The General ushered Carver and Dawes through the doorway and it whisked closed behind them.

  He marched them across the room and waited.

  The man behind the table looked young, though his hair was graying, and his eyes were haunted with dark circles underneath.

  He stared at Carver first, then those eyes moved over to Dawes and measured him as well.

  Then the man smiled, and it lit up his face. It was warm, and welcoming, and looked a bit nebbish under the soft glare of bare bulbs in wire cages.

  “So you’re it,” the man stated.

  The woman next to him snorted. Carver thought about making a remark about her gorgeous hair or her skin. But her eyes held a warning, her thin lips compressed in concern as she too studied them.

  “Howdy,” Dawes touched his fingers to his head and tipped an imaginary cap. “Depends on what you mean by it.”

  The exchanged a look with the man at the desk.

  “I’m Rob,” he introduced himself and stood to shake.

  He stayed behind the desk, which caused Dawes and Carver to have to shuffle forward and reach across, directly in front of the woman.

  Dawes had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable.

  Carver kept his mouth shut, but he could tell his partner felt the same way.

  “This is Jodi,” Rob continued.

  She didn’t hold out her hand to shake. Carver tried, but her haughty look at his hand made him withdraw it and tuck it behind his back.

  “You two stole my ship,” said Rob.

  “Which one?” Carver asked.

  Dawes nudged him hard in the ribs.

  “Don’t do that man,” Carver snapped. “The man’s asking a serious question.”

  “I am serious,” said Rob. “Both of them.”

  “Technically, we didn’t steal the first one,” Dawes defended. “He shoved us in it before we could explain the mistake.”

  “Right,” said Rob.

  He sat back in his chair with a wince and glanced at Jodi.

  “The Lick are a formidable enemy. You did us a great service stopping that scout ship.”

  “That a scout ship?” Carver asked. “There’s more?”

  “Yes,” Rob sighed. “Too many more. But that’s another battle for another day. Let’s concentrate on what you brought back with you the second time.”

  “Look man, we didn’t bring nothing back. The General asked us to do something and we decided to get it done, you know what I’m saying. We had business to handle, and we handled the business.”

  “By crashing the alien armada into earth.”

  “Yeah, well,” Carver licked his lips and searched around for help. “That part was an accident.”

  “You guys are good at having accidents,” said Jodi.

  “Not our fault,” said Dawes. “The Star X ship hit the alien ship when they were using one of those what do you call it’s on us.”

  “Tractor beam,” said Carver.

  “Thank you, tractor beam.”

  “And now they only want to deal with you,” Rob tented his fingers, haunted eyes still studying the two men.

  “Until we can convince them otherwise,” said the General.

  Bring Rob and Jodi into High Steaks as Directors of the Super Secret Space Program.

  Houston works for them.

  Sub plot is Rob and Jodi going back out to investigate and fight aliens who are planning a second sneak attack on earth

  After the two men had left the room Jodi rolled her eyes so Rob could see her.

  "God help us," she sighed.

  The Director got out of the chair and stretched. Daily yoga helped keep him flexible, but the abuse his body had taken over the years took its toll.

  It showed up mostly after sitting through long meetings, and always took a couple of steps to get everything lubricated and moving in the right direction without creaks, pops and muffled groans.

  "There were a couple of folks who thought the same thing about us once.”

  He stared at the closed door the two men had disappeared through, his thoughts a couple hundred thousand miles away.

  Hovercraft

  Crash

  Hitchhike to a bar

  CHAPTER

  “Hey, what's the name of that song?” Carver asked.

  “This song?”

  “No man. I know this song. I'm talking about that other song.”

  “Which other song?”

  “The one about drinking and cheating,” said Carver.